I'm so fucking centered right now
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
