I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
