you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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