I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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