i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
