9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
