.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
