so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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