I feel like abortions should bother me more
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
