I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
