Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
