MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
