Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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