I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
