Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You made out with two different species that night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
