things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
