you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
