Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
