Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
