Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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