You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
