Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
