oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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