i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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