i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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