But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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