go do what you do best...puke behind churches
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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