there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
