She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
