ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
