So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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