I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
