In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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