woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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