i may or may not be watching the land before time
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
