I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
