i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
