First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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