hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
