'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
