Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
