I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
