He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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