I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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