last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
