remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You are a genius and a whore.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
