How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
