Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Even my vagina gasped.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
