my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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