I bet he comes in French.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
