Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
